


Epistolary

by cervidame



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Pen Pals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-02 05:55:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19193071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cervidame/pseuds/cervidame
Summary: Dear Vex'ahlia VessarI humbly ask that you refer to me as Percival lest your wrist collapse from exhaustion after writing out my complete title in what I hope to be a long and comfortable correspondence...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Vex, Vax and Percy are roughly 16-17 in this fic. It will be told through letters, mainly through Vex and Percy, but other characters will occasionally pop up.

Dear Vex'ahlia Vessar

I humbly ask that you refer to me as Percival lest your wrist collapse from exhaustion after writing out my complete title in what I hope to be a long and comfortable correspondence. 

As for why I have approached you as my pen pal, I was recently informed that my lack of friends is somewhat worrying for a coming of age noble and should be dealt with. My mother concluded that more tea parties and balls was the solution to this problem. I suggested that writing letters from the comfort of my workshop was a more efficient solution. She took this seriously and your name was somewhere in the middle of her list of nobles around my age. I hope you don’t mind me being so blunt.

I have included a raven’s feather as a gift. I hear they make wonderful attachments to arrows. If you are not interested in responding, I understand. 

Sincerely,  
Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the Third


	2. Chapter 2

~~ Dear Percival Fredrickstien von Mussel Klossowski De Rolo The Third,  ~~

~~ Good to know I’m on an eligible bachelorette list and not your mother’s hit list. Gotta look on the Brightside.  ~~

 

~~ Dear Percival Fredrickstienn Van Mussill KIossuwski de Rili the Fourth,  ~~

~~ Your name is stupid.  ~~

 

~~ Percival,  ~~

~~ Are you flirting with me? You should probably know that I’m not an eligible maiden, as I am unaccomplished in the arts and spent the week tracking a bear in the forest instead of attending dance lessons. I’m also pretty bad at writing letters. But then so are you.  ~~

  
  


Percival,    
  
Call me Vex. Your name is ridiculously long. Clerks have trouble with mine as it is, goodness knows how they cope with you. It sounds like your mother has some grounds for concern and I shall happily aid you in your endeavor to get her to back off.   
  
I am having some trouble with my father. He thinks it is unladylike for me to climb trees and track wildlife. I don’t give a damn about being ladylike, so we’ve come to an impasse where we simply ignore each other and mumble a good morning over breakfast. I do, however, have a good relationship with my brother. I’m trying to get him to take up this pen pal thing, (since this is more fun than I expected) but he’s unconvinced. Do you have any siblings? Also, what’s this about a workshop?   
  
This week my tutors decided to try my talents of embroidery, since last week’s piano lessons were torturous for everyone involved. I think they’ve given up on instruments now. Finally.   
  
I don’t think I’m very good at embroidery, but it’s easier than trying to read music. Perhaps if I managed to make something half decent I’ll send it to you as thanks for the  bribe gift you gave me. The feather does look nice. Thank you for that. I don’t often see ravens in Syngorn, but I found some interesting bear tracks today in the forest. 

Hope to hear from you soon,   
Vex. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Vex, 

I can’t say that a clerk has ever complained to my face, but I have not met many clerks. 

I’m sorry to hear about your family situation. I don’t have any advice about your father and I know very little about your brother, and what would persuade him to take up a new hobby. I find if you want someone to do something, then the most effective method is to gently nudge them to see how it would benefit them and then leave the idea to settle for a little while, until they are completely convinced it was their idea in the first place. If that does not work, then bribery is also effective. Not that I would know anything about that. 

I’ve spent some time in the forests of Whitestone, but I’ve never seen signs of a bear. I’ll have to look into more detail of how our wildlife differs. Do be careful out there.   
My workshop is the safe haven of the castle, yet the most dangerous place to be when I get an idea in my head and it all goes inevitably wrong. I attempted to repair a music box of my sister’s this morning and one of the springs jumped out and hit me in the nose. 

On the bright side, a new teahouse has opened in the town. The tea is pleasant and the company polite; they chose not to comment on my red nose. 

I have many siblings. The youngest, Cassandra, is very good at piano. I, like yourself, have next to no musical abilities. But I may yet repair the music box. Do cross your fingers for me. 

I am glad that the feather suits. I would be honoured to receive anything from a lady and would treasure it dearly. My tutors - for the time being - have given up on my lessons. You are either a better student (when you actually attend) or your tutors have conviction and I commend their attitude, but not methods. 

Sincerely,   
Percival.


	4. Chapter 4

~~ Percy, ~~

~~ Bears are fucking cool I am amazing and Vax sucks.  ~~

~~ Vex.  ~~

  
  


Percival,   
  
I befriended the bear. 

Also, Vax is an idiot.   
  
Vax is my twin brother, by the way. He is an **idiot** . Last night I’m sure he got into a fight with someone, but won’t tell me the details. Now he’s locked up in his room, barely saying a word even to me. Are boys always this dramatic? I haven’t tried to put your advice to the test yet, considering this situation, but I think it might just work.   
  
Well, anyway, my embroidery is slightly better. At least that is what my tutor tells me. I’m thinking of making a native flower from here, since you seem interested in that sort of thing. I bet you’re a bookish, nerdy kid, aren't you? It’s sweet. What is the forest like over there? We have densely packed trees, berry bushes in the north, a river stream from the mountains and a small lake with fish.   
  
I’ve never repaired or made anything mechanical in my life. That’s an interesting skill. I hope that your nose and your pride are intact. I tried to make an arrow once, but it’s more difficult than it looks, so I buy them in bulk for a fantastically discounted price.   
  
My fingers are crossed, I promise. When you say you have many siblings, how many does that mean? Are you the oldest sibling, then, or somewhere in the middle? I can’t imagine having more than Vax, he’s enough trouble on his own. But I do love him.  
  
I don’t know if I’m a better student than you. I think my tutors and my father are just very, very stubborn.   
  
I hope the service went well. I don’t worship anyone in particular, but as you’d expect all the Elvish gods are popular here. I met a cleric of Everlight a year or so ago; her name is Pike and she travels quite a bit. I saw her chug a cask of ale that night, after which my misconceptions about clerics were vanquished. I don’t know what clerics of the Dawnfather are like, but I hope they are similar. My history teacher tells me that the Lawbearer is also worshiped in Whitestone, but not as much. Is that the case for you personally? He also told me about the sun tree, which sounds beautiful.  
  
Vex. 

  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Dear Vex,   
  
I have many questions about the bear and would like more details. How on earth does one befriend a bear? I am glad to hear that you are alive and well after this endeavour. I assume that you are uninjured?   
  
I have six siblings. When my brothers fight each other it’s usually not serious, but once Julius and Oliver had a huge fallout about goodness knows what and they avoided each other by living in the opposite ends of the castle for an entire month. I mostly stayed out of it and let it pass on. But the situation with your brother is different, so I’m not sure what to say. I hope it works out for the best.   
  
I suppose I am a little nerdy, as you put it. I like our library almost as much as my workshop, the latter of which is the best when I’m in a more introverted mood.   
  
Your letters usually arrive through the window of my worship via bird. But this morning I woke up later after tinkering away at Cassandra’s music box (which I have managed to fix. Huzzah!) and my mother received the letter in my place. Though she did not open it, she is immensely pleased by my social progress. I admit that I can’t wait for her to discover that you climb trees and befriend bears.   
  
I think the forests here are beautiful, but dangerous at night due to wolves. I haven’t traveled out of Whitestone myself (yet, father promises that once I’m of age I can), but I know there are harpies and giants in the mountains. They tend to keep to themselves.   
  
Your dedication to budget financing is quite something. Some nobles are frivolous with money. I’m glad that you are careful with your purse, if not your head. Seriously. Befriending a bear. Of all things. My nose and pride are intact, thank you.   
  
Yes, Erathis and Pelor are both worshiped here. The family attends both services, and Keeper Yennen (a priest of Erathis) is a close family advisor. He can be… strong-willed… But his wisdom can be helpful. Your friend Pike sounds very impressive and nothing at all like the clerics I am familiar with.   
  
During my wanderings around town, I found a fallen leaf from the sun tree’s branches. I could send you a thousand paintings of it and it wouldn't be enough to do it justice. Its leaves have never been known to wilt and it is evergreen, even in the dullest of winters.   
  
Sincerely,    
Percival. 


	6. Chapter 6

Percival,   
  
Your letter came very quickly. Did I worry you? I’m very sorry. I’m perfectly fine, no injuries what so ever.   
  
I have named the bear Trinket. I visit him when I can. He’s ever so nice and sweet. Surely the greatest of bears! I showed him the pretty leaf you sent me and he sneezed on it. I wish you could have seen him. He is simply adorable. I've trained him a little and he now sits when I tell him to! Perhaps I should run away and join the circus?  
  
You have a lot of siblings, Percival. What are they like? Vax is still being silly, but he’s now talking to me again. I’m glad about that. I suppose I’ll have to wait for him to tell me what happened, since badgering him is doing no good. Damn it.   
  
I told Vax that he should try this pen pal thing, since it’s going ever so well for me. Father knows, of course, that I write to you. I just didn’t know that he was happy about it. Very odd. Still, I think Vax is more willing to give it a go now. I suggested that he write to you. I haven’t told him about Trinket yet, so please don’t mention it. I’ll tell him eventually, once I've trained Trinket a bit more.   
  
I haven’t traveled far either. Maybe when, we’re of age, we can meet half way? It’d be nice to travel with a friend.   
  
There are worse creatures to befriend than bears, in my defense. Demons, for example. It could be so much worse! And, finally, someone who appreciates my love of money. I’m glad your nose is still in one piece, it’d be a shame if your face was ruined before I got to see it.   
  
Thank you for not sending me a thousand pictures. I prefer the leaf. It’s a very nice gift. The leaves here in Syngorn do wilt, but I think they’re still beautiful. I hope you like it. I’m still working on my embroidery, and my archery seems to be improving much faster.  
  
Vex. 


	7. Chapter 7

~~ Listen, Dickwad  ~~

 

~~ Percival Fucking Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo The Third,  ~~

 

 

Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the Fucking Third, 

If you hurt, touch or talk to my sister inappropriately I will personally see to your untimely demise. 

Tread carefully. 

Kind regards,   
Vax’ildan Vessar. 


	8. Chapter 8

~~ Vax’ildan Vessar,  ~~

~~ It would be difficult to touch your sister when she is far away. Not that I want to. Oh, dear. ~~

  
  
  


~~ Vax,  ~~

~~ It is good to hear from you. Vex told me that you would be writing, but I didn’t expect a letter so quickly. I did not sign up for this. Is your father planning to kill me? Should I just run now??  ~~

~~ Your sister is pleasant company. Also, she has a bear in the forest she told me not to tell you. Still don’t know how to feel about that.  ~~

~~ What’s her favourite flower?  ~~

  
  


Vax’ildan Vessar,   
  
I have no intention of hurting, touching or talking to your sister inappropriately. I hope this puts you at ease.   
  
Vex is also worried about you. You should talk to her about your troubles.   
  
Regards,   
  
Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the Third


	9. Chapter 9

~~ Dear Vex,  ~~

~~ Your brother is intimidating. I think he thinks I am planning something entirely inappropriate.  ~~

~~ I would rather get to know you a bit better first.  ~~

~~ Is he planning an assassination? Please let me know. I shall leave the continent if it pleases you.  ~~

  
  


Dear Vex,   
  
I received your letter this morning, followed by your brother’s in the afternoon. He is surprisingly well mannered.   
  
It has come to my attention that my letters may be misunderstood by others. I apologise if this has caused you any trouble. This whole thing is quite embarrassing. I hope I have not made you uncomfortable? Is my lady’s reputation intact?   
  
And please do not get too angry with Vax’ildan for writing to me. I would do the same for my sisters.   
  
Trinket sounds lovely and once I get past the fact that he was many claws and teeth to hurt you with, I am sure I will be as fond of him as you are.   
  
I would love to travel also, though I shall not presume to make any plans considering the situation. I’d quite like to see Emon someday and your home, of course.   
  
Best of luck with your embroidery and archery training,   
Percival. 


	10. Chapter 10

Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo The Third,   
  
You could've just told me to fuck off like she did.   
  
Sincerely,   
Vax’ildan Vessar


	11. Chapter 11

Percival,   
  
It’s come to my attention that Vax is meddling where his nose doesn't belong. I've kindly told him where he can stick it. Don’t worry about it. I knew from the start how these letters may seem. You don’t have to worry about ruining my reputation or whatever.   
  
We’re friends so you might as well know why we don’t get along with our father and why my reputation is already laughable. My mother is a human, a seamstress. She lived a simple but happy life. And so did we with her, until we were ten years old and our father took us away to Syngorn. We still don’t fit in here, even after 6 years.   
  
In fact, I’m more worried about your reputation. Writing to half-elves in a faraway city and refusing to send an offer of marriage after many letters of correspondence! Why, Percy. You heart-breaker, you.   
  
Vax, I think, was worried that you were going to whisk me away from here with promises of money and a title and no more elven politics. I may have even been tempted by that idea, but I could never leave him. You understand, don’t you?   
  
Someday you will meet Trinket and you will love him to bits and I will say ‘I told you so!’ I can’t wait to climb trees with you. Vax will probably insist on coming along, but he’s quite handy to have around. Very good with knives.   
  
Show your mother the handkerchief. That should persuade her that I am no Lady of Whitestone material.   
  
Vex. 


	12. Chapter 12

Vax’ildan,   
  
I hear you are good with knives. Do you think it is possible to attach some sort of device to a dagger, throw it, and have it explode?   
  
Sincerely,   
  
Percival. 


	13. Chapter 13

Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo The Third, 

All the more to stab you with, you crazy bastard. That’d be a waste of a good dagger. Try something less expensive. 

Vax’ildan

 


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Vex, 

I shall worry about your reputation on your behalf, then. Have other people written to you? With those sorts of intentions, I mean. 

I don’t know what to say. I’d apologise, but I don’t think it would make you feel better. If you ever need to vent, then you know where I am. 

Ah, it’s time to come clean about my reputation. Do you remember when I said I went for a walk around town? I do that occasionally to nip into a little magic shop. I buy all sorts of things, take them to my workshop, take them apart, learn something new, try to apply it, try to invent something, fail, try again, and suddenly a day has passed and I haven’t eaten and my mother thinks I've blown myself up. So, I’m known as a sort of odd fellow. 

Mother is trying to fix this, however. She has restarted my dancing lessons. I’m not terrible at it. Out of practice, I think. My science and math lessons are fascinating, though my tutor doesn't like my suggestions and says I’m distracting my siblings with my fanciful thinking. My history lessons are going very well, even though after 3 hours of learning new names and events my head feels crammed with information. 

And I do understand. I wouldn’t want to leave my family either. I love them very much. But I can wait to meet Trinket until he is fully trained.  Vax as well. In all seriousness, I’d like to meet you both someday, but I would prefer it if your brother was unarmed. 

I looked up the flower in the library and I read that it is a symbol of protection. Thank you very much for the handkerchief. The golden flower is very well done, according to my mother. I think she is fonder of you now than before. Your plan has been foiled.  

Also, should anything happen to me involving an explosion I want you to know that Vax is not to blame. Just something I’m working on. 

Percy. 


	15. Chapter 15

Percy,   
  
It’s good to hear from you. This letter might be a bit short, because I have to go to archery practice soon.   
  
If you’re asking if I am engaged to anyone, then the answer is no. I am not betrothed either. Nor am I romantically involved. I have also never had an offer of marriage from anyone yet.   
  
Father and I got into an argument (nothing important really). But since then things have been even more tense. Sometimes I just want to grab Vax and a horse and run. Maybe we could ride Trinket. It should't matter too much. I think he's heading off to Emon soon. Again. Thank the gods. Anyway, it’s nice knowing that you’ll write back to me even if I just write pages of annoyed paragraphs about silly elf rules.   
  
I think you are "an odd sort of fellow" with a good heart, Percy. I found some herbal tea in the marketplace that helps with headaches. I hope it helps.   
  
Your family sounds nice and I’d like to meet them. I’ll try and disarm Vax, but he’s good at hiding things. Hidden daggers, traps, that sort of thing. I also recommend you get a good lock on your bedroom door and workshop.   
  
I don’t know if an embroidered flower has the same sort of protective effect, but I hope it works. Stay safe. Please thank your mother for me; the bird template is very nice and I will try to do it justice.   
  
Vax won’t kill you. Probably. I think you’re growing on him. 

Vex. 


	16. Chapter 16

Percy,  
  
Your letter is a bit late. I hope everything is alright and Vax was just kidding when he said you were thinking about making an exploding throwing dagger.   
  
Vex. 

 


	17. Chapter 17

Dear Vex'ahlia Vessar,   
  
My dearest younger brother, Percival, has been injured in one of his “experiments”. Percival is currently lying in his bed (which he hardly uses, favouring his workshop desk), propped up by a pillow and scowling at me. He has been such a grump since mother told him that he was banned from the workshop until he recovered, banned from going out into town, and banned from writing to you because he has burnt his finger, and mother does not want him to irritate the burn. It is most likely that she is punishing him for his foolishness. The injury is hardly cause for him to be bedridden, so do not worry about him suffering.    
  
However, we are all suffering from His Grumpiness. He tried to write with his other hand; I could not allow him to send such bad handwriting to a lady and so I write in his place.   
  
But, first, let me speak to you directly.   
  
It pleases me to know that my brother has a trusted friend. Especially one with such talent in embroidery. I hope you enjoy the bird template as it is one of mother’s favourites. When she was young she made a handkerchief for her betrothed that depicted the De Rolo family crest. He still wears it in his pocket every day.   
  
Now, pardon me for being so blunt, but Percival tells me that you and your brother would like to travel when you are of age. This is a commendable goal. The world is plentiful and has much to explore. But I know the pains of waiting very well. Something, of course, could be arranged if you wished to start here in Whitestone. Perhaps to stay for a few days, getting here and back via a temporary teleportation circle. Why, next month we have a festival of Pelor. It would brighten up the castle to have two young visitors. Our parents would be happy to welcome you.   
  
Percival says I should not ‘meddle’. Hm. Just as he should not meddle with explosives.   
  
Anyway, I have left the letter he asked me to transcribe for you and I have taken the liberty of allowing you to see all his attempts completely unedited. I hope it entertains you as much as it entertained me.

* * *

 

Vex,

I apologise for my sister’s meddling. She is far too concerned about my love life and likes weddings far too much. Not that I, I mean she, is inviting you here for a wedding. Erm. Oh, hell. Let’s start again.

Vex,

The handkerchief is still pretty, though singed in one corner. I still treasure it, even if its protection is not – (It can’t protect you from your own stupidity, brother). Yes, yes. Very funny, Vesper. Go suck a quill.

Vex,

I apologise for not writing to you sooner. I have been delayed by an unfortunate accident in my workshop. Just a small explosion. Is that too much? A very little explosion. Hardly anything at all. My mother heard the noise and came rushing in, saw me holding my finger and, well, now I’m stuck in bed. It’s like being 5 years old and grounded all over again.

Vesper has never been grounded. Not because she’s a little angel. No. She just never gets caught. Don’t let her meddle too much. (You make me sound terrible, Percival). I am being honest.

Right. Honesty. I can no longer judge you for spending time with trinket, and no don’t ask Vesper I can’t explain, because we both like dangerous activities. Not that my experiments are very dangerous. I’m perfectly fine. Everyone is overacting. Gods, I’m so bored.

Do you think I could bribe your father to bring you and your brother over here for a while? You’d be better company, I think. My siblings are all smug bastards. (Language. Shame on thee.) Oh, shut up. Very well. Once more from the top.

Vex,

I’m sure my sister has already told you what has happened. I’ve had a small incident in the workshop. Nothing to worry about. I’m alright. Are you and your brother well?

Most of my lessons continue as usual, though someone has to write up notes for me, which is not the same. I’ve been doing a lot of reading and sleeping and not much else. It’s very boring. I’ve no doubt that your wanderings in the forest are more interesting. How is your trinket? 

My sister says she has invited you to Whitestone for the upcoming festival. I understand if you are busy, it is short notice, but I’d like to see you there. I want to see you. I want to know what you look like. No, no, no. Scratch those last two and stop smirking, you demon. Please let me know if you’ll be coming; I’ll need some warning for mother’s excitement. She likes to make everything extra special for guests; invitations, new decorations, scented candles in the en-suite bathroom, etc, etc.

It’d be nice if you got away for a little while, I think. Maybe then everyone in Syngorn would realise that they take you for granted. I sound like a sap, Vesper. This was a terrible idea.

Fuck it. If you can’t make it then I will send you anything that you want and you can throw it at his face. Or Vax can. I’ll send double and you two can surround him. That should work.

Sincerely,

Percy.

**Author's Note:**

> Say hi to me on [Tumblr](https://cervidame.tumblr.com) <3


End file.
